Bad Chemistry
by Steen Hviid
A theater play in six acts about life with multiple chemical sensitivities (MCS). Intended for a general audience.
Keywords: htheater, art, script, multiple chemical sensitivity, MCS, environmental illness
This is a work of fiction. The characters and events are composites based on real stories. Any resemblance to specific people is not intended.
Characters in the order they appear:
There is also a sign bearer, who carries a big sign across the stage.
Additional non-speaking extras may be used in the last act.
A minimum of four actors are needed, if they cover multiple roles.
Act 1, Scene 1. Outdoors.
The scene is outdoors on a beautiful spring day. Some trees can be seen in the background. Jasper enters.
JASPER: What a beautiful day! It is spring, the trees are freshly green. A perfect day for a stroll.
Jasper walks around some more.
JASPER: What’s that? I’m getting so dizzy, just as I did when I hiked a few days ago. But now it is worse. I can hardly stand up.
He looks around. Then points.
JASPER: Ah, there is a doctor’s office. They can help me.
Jasper visibly staggers as he walks off the stage.
The sign bearer displays the front page of a newspaper. The headline says: “Record pollen season.”
Act 1, Scene 2. The doctor’s office.
In the doctor’s office there are two chairs close to each other. The doctor is sitting, wearing a white lab coat, with a stethoscope around the neck. Jasper enters and sits down.
DOCTOR: So, what brings you here today?
JASPER: (Unsettled) Uh, uh.
Jasper quickly stands up, moves the chair away from the doctor and sits down again.
DOCTOR: What’s the matter?
JASPER: Uh, my sinuses flare up and I get dizzy if close to someone wearing cologne.
DOCTOR: (perplexed) Hm, so what brings you here?
JASPER: I get dizzy a lot if around people wearing fragrances. In the grocery store it also happens in the detergent aisle. I usually feel great outdoors, but not when I was hiking a few days ago. It was even worse today, I could barely stand up.
DOCTOR: Hm. I need to examine you. Stand up.
Jasper stands up. The doctor walks over to him. Jasper reflexively takes one step back, then stops. The doctor closes in and does his examination, looking in Jasper’s eyes, looking down his throat, listening to his heart, and lungs with the stethoscope.
DOCTOR: I don’t see anything wrong.
JASPER: Could it be allergies?
DOCTOR: It is not allergies. Everyone thinks they have allergies these days. It is just a fad. You definitely do not have any allergies.
JASPER: Last year I went to an allergist. He filled my back with pinpricks for tree pollen, grass pollen, and some foods. A whole bunch of them swelled up. He said I had lots of allergies.
DOCTOR: (Huffing) Hm, hm, if an allergist did test you for allergies…
The doctor retreats out of the room.
Act 2: Performance review
The sign bearer displays a sign saying: “6 MONTHS LATER.” The scene is a private office with Jasper’s boss. The boss is sitting when Jasper enters.
BOSS: Hi Jasper, sit down. As you know, this is your annual job performance review.
JASPER: (Reluctantly) Yes.
BOSS: You’re been working for us for seven years now. I’ve been very pleased with your work until about a year ago. I’ve cut you some slack, but your work has really not been good lately.
JASPER: I feel dizzy all the time I’m in the office.
BOSS: Why is that?
JASPER: I think the main thing is all the perfume Linda uses. She was out sick recently and I felt better when she was not there. She is not the only one, but she is the worst.
BOSS: I’ve noticed her strong perfume too, but it doesn’t make me sick. And I can’t tell her not to use it.
JASPER: But people can’t smoke in the office. Isn’t that the same?
BOSS: It is not the same. Cigarettes are proven to be harmful to others. Perfumes are completely harmless. They would not be allowed to sell them if they were dangerous.
JASPER: They sell cigarettes. People used to think they were harmless too.
BOSS: Listen. I have a friend who is an allergist, and I mentioned this whole thing to him. He said it is just some sort of anxiety. He has had people show up in his office with these anxieties. You need to go see a psychiatrist and get some help.
JASPER: Couldn’t you let me work in an office with no other people? My own office. Then I would feel better and work better.
BOSS: We do not have any vacant offices. Besides, if I gave you one, that would not be proper. You are not a manager.
JASPER: What about the storage closet at the end of the hall? It is small, but I can fit in there, and it has a small window so I can get fresh air.
BOSS: No, I don’t want you in that closet.
JASPER: Isn’t there a law about accommodating people with disabilities?
BOSS: (Irritated) No, no, no. You need to see a psychiatrist for this thing. That is what you need.
JASPER: But this is not a mental illness. I’ve looked on the internet and there are thousands of people just like me.
BOSS: I’ve looked around the internet too, and what I found is the same as what the allergist said.
JASPER: I really don’t want to go to a psychiatrist. All they do is fill you with nasty drugs and I get stomach aches even if I take an aspirin. I don’t think it’s a good idea.
BOSS: Listen. I’ve cut you some slack, but I can’t continue doing that. If you want to continue working here, you will go see a psychiatrist.
Act 3: Psychiatrist’s office
The sign bearer displays a sign saying: “9 MONTHS LATER.”
The scene is a psychiatrist’s office. There are two chairs. The psychiatrist is sitting down when Jasper enters.
PSYCHIATRIST: So, how did it go with the last drug?
JASPER: Not good. My head gets really foggy, my stomach hurts and I get diarrhea.
PSYCHIATRIST: Did it help any on your aversion to smells?
JASPER: It didn’t help any. And I don’t think it’s an aversion, since I get dizzy in some places even if I cannot smell anything.
PSYCHIATRIST: We’ve discussed that before. That is just some anxieties, perhaps agoraphobia.
JASPER: But I don’t feel anxious.
PSYCHIATRIST: But don’t you avoid going places with other people? When was the last time you went to a movie theater?
JASPER: I try not to go places with a lot of people since so many wear fragrances and wash their clothes with fabric softener. They make my sinuses burn and my mind foggy.
PSYCHIATRIST: Do you still only go to stores late in the evening?
JASPER: Yes.
PSYCHIATRIST: I’ve told you to go in the daytime. To go to the movie theater. Avoiding places just makes your anxiety worse. You need to go out where there are other people and not give in to your anxieties. That just makes them worse.
JASPER: I tried to do as you said, but all it did was make me sick. Sometimes it took days to recover. And after that I tolerated even less of the chemicals. It is getting worse. I now have to wash my clothes in a detergent from the health food store. What you say I should do doesn’t help, it makes it worse.
PSYCHIATRIST: You are not trying hard enough. You have now tried seven drugs and each time you come back and say they do not work and they have all these side effects. And you won’t follow my directions to go out in public to get used to being around other people.
JASPER: I’ve found two other people who also get sick from chemicals. We visit each other, we go for walks in the park together. I feel good in their homes.
PSYCHIATRIST: You should not associate with other people who have these beliefs.
JASPER: But I have a social life again, I don’t feel so alone. And what they say makes a lot of sense. They’ve taught me how to make my house less toxic, and it really does help.
PSYCHIATRIST: How does it help?
JASPER: I feel better at home.
PSYCHIATRIST: But not at work and not in a store?
JASPER: Not there, only at home.
PSYCHIATRIST: See, it doesn’t really help. At home, you just think it helps, that is called a placebo.
JASPER: But why do I feel so much better when I drive out of the city and walk in the forest when it is not pollen season?
PSYCHIATRIST: Because it is so calm there. No stress. And you are just making your anxieties worse by avoiding things.
JASPER: I’ve found lots of people like myself on the internet. Many have tried psychiatric drugs, and they don’t help them either.
PSYCHIATRIST: So, what are you saying?
JASPER: What I have is not a mental disease. That’s why your treatments do not help. And drugs are chemicals, that’s why they hurt me.
PSYCHIATRIST: If that is you attitude, I don’t think I can help you.
Act 4: Refugee camp
The scene is a trailer park in the desert. Jasper sits on a cheap camping chair in front of an aluminum travel trailer. There is just one chair.
All actors wear plain clothes that have been washed many times. No black or bright colors. No makeup or hair styling products.
Nearly everyone wears a hat with a brim, the desert sun is strong.
The sign bearer displays a sign saying “ONE YEAR LATER.”
Susie enters and walks over to Jasper. Jasper stands up.
SUSIE: Hi Jasper.
JASPER: Hi Susie. Nice day today.
SUSIE: Yes. I love it out here in the desert. The air is so clean and dry, there are so few mold and pollen here. And no air pollution.
JASPER: Yes, I feel much better here than back in Pennsylvania. But I still don’t feel great, like I did a few years ago.
SUSIE: Moving here does cure some people, but it takes years. Most of us are not that lucky. But when you stop exposing yourself to chemicals, the disease doesn’t get worse.
JASPER: I just wish I’d moved here sooner, instead of toughing it out. I trusted that psychiatrist who told me to take all those drugs and to expose myself to what made me sick. All it did was make it worse.
JASPER: If I could just have moved here a year ago. If I could just feel as “good” as I did then.
SUSIE: So you went downhill fast suddenly?
JASPER: Yes. They remodeled the office I worked in. New carpet, fresh paint. Boy, that was bad. The morning after they installed the carpet I had an asthma attack. I didn’t know I had asthma. Stinky Linda called 911, they took me to the emergency room.
JASPER: They gave me oxygen and some drug that helped. But when they asked what caused it I could just see it in their eyes. They didn’t believe a new carpet could do that. “Psycho,” said their eyes.
JASPER: I stayed home sick the rest of the week. I felt like I had a really bad case of the flu, and hadn’t slept for days. I promised the boss I would be back Monday morning.
SUSIE: Then what happened?
JASPER: I got in there. The carpet smell was still strong, just not quite as strong. The boss said he had run the ventilation system all week with fresh air instead of recycled air. He said it was all fine now. It wasn’t.
JASPER: My good sense was to not stay, but I felt obligated to try and stay. So I did.
JASPER: I got very little work done. At lunch I walked outside to sit in the air. I could not walk a straight line.
SUSIE: Did you go home?
JASPER: No. Stupid me, being outside and eating my lunch made me feel better, so I went back in. When I started to feel sick again, I went to talk to the boss.
JASPER: He said he had called his allergist friend after my asthma attack. The allergist said it was just a panic attack, but recommended to air out the place so it wouldn’t smell so much.
JASPER: The boss said I could stay home for a few more days, but then I had to come back, unless I could get a letter from a doctor supporting my case.
SUSIE: Did you get a note?
JASPER: No. The only doctor I could think of asking was my allergist. I had told him about my chemical sensitivities before, but he always downplayed it, and changed the subject.
JASPER: When I asked him for help with a note, he got really upset and ranted that he did not want to be a part of those things. He is a professor. There were two med students standing behind him, so he couldn’t see their faces. The glances they exchanged with each other were priceless!
JASPER: I got no help from him at all.
SUSIE: I’m not surprised. The allergists are the worst. They feel so threatened by this. They don’t understand what it is, and don’t want to deal with it, yet it seems to be on their turf.
JASPER: Yeah, whenever I tried to ask him about my problems with chemicals, he just blew me off, and said I just needed to keep doing the allergy shots.
SUSIE: So what happened next?
JASPER: The boss said I just had to go back to the psychiatrist, and I had to show up for work.
SUSIE: Did you?
JASPER: I didn’t go back to the psychiatrist. That would be insane. I did try to tough it out, which was equally insane. I bought an air purifier from a store, but it didn’t help at all.
SUSIE: Yeah, those are worthless against chemical fumes. Even those that do filter chemicals can’t keep up with such a toxic office.
JASPER: So, stupid as I am, I keep toughing it out. By the end of the week I was more sensitized to chemicals than ever before. I had to stay further away from fragranced people, and nearly all people now smelled of fragrances. Much stronger than before.
JASPER: To make a long story short, I crashed. I had to sleep on the porch of my house and I couldn’t go in to work any more. Eventually I got fired for not showing up.
SUSIE: How did you get here to Arizona?
JASPER: I recovered some by sleeping and living on my porch. I’m so glad I had that.
JASPER: I talked to several people over the internet, who had moved to the Southwest. They encouraged me to come visit.
JASPER: I realized I had to leave Pennsylvania, so I packed up my car and drove to Texas, New Mexico and Arizona. I felt good in those people’s houses. They all had tile floors, no carpets, no toxic chemicals.
JASPER: I felt the best in Arizona. My nose and sinuses were clear every day. Back home they were always clogged up and irritated. That really convinced me to move.
SUSIE: Where did you get the trailer?
JASPER: I tried all the dealers I could find, but all their trailers were either too new and stinky, or they were moldy. One place I went to, it had rained a lot that morning, there was water on the floors of several of their trailers.
JASPER: Eventually I found a trailer someone with this illness had lived in: It was much better. The woman had died, her husband just wanted it out of his yard so he gave me a good deal. I don’t think he was supportive of his wife. I think that was why she had to sleep in a trailer in the yard instead of in their house. I wonder how she died, but I didn’t want to ask.
SUSIE: Yeah, I had a husband like that. I had to divorce him. When the house got sold I used the money to buy my trailer, and I’m saving the rest to buy or build a safe house.
JASPER: Sorry you had such a husband. I’ve noticed very few of us are married. This disease is very tough on a marriage.
SUSIE: It’s tough on the whole family. I have two sons, one is in college the other is a carpenter. They don’t believe I’m sick either, just like my husband. They said I needed to see a psychiatrist.
JASPER: Did you?
SUSIE: No. My insurance didn’t cover it, so I hesitated, and then I learned that it never helps us. It can help if people get depression from the breakup of their family and all that trauma, but it never helps on the illness itself.
JASPER: Why is it that everybody says we need a psychiatrist when it never works?
SUSIE: It’s a cop-out. The reality is too painful, too inconvenient. That goes both for the family and for the doctors. The doctors don’t know what to do, it is much better for their egos to say we are nuts. Throw us on the garbage heap.
JASPER: How do you know so much about how doctors think?
SUSIE: I was a nurse. I worked in a clinic with five doctors. When I started getting sick, they were no better than your boss. One was sympathetic initially, but the other doctors got on her case.
JASPER: What made you sick?
SUSIE: I’m not sure, but I think it was the sterilization of the instruments, which I did every day. At least, that was the first thing that I no longer tolerated. Those are harsh chemicals.
JASPER: I hear this illness runs in some families.
SUSIE: Both mom and my sister have it, but not so bad. They don’t use any fragrances or other chemicals, but otherwise live normal lives. They don’t tell other people about it.
JASPER: I wouldn’t tell anyone if I didn’t have to.
SUSIE: That’s what most of us do. People think it is weird, and they get offended if you tell them their perfume makes you dizzy. As if you have any control over what makes you sick. Tell that to a kid with peanut allergy, see if that helps any.
JASPER: Do your mom and sister work?
SUSIE: Yes, they both do. Mom did change job once. The office didn’t have good ventilation, so she got dopey in the afternoons. She didn’t want to raise a fuss and never told the boss why she left.
JASPER: They never said anything?
SUSIE: One time my sister had to share an office with a new woman who used a lot of fragrances. She talked to the boss, who was really nice about it and just moved people around without telling anyone the real reason. I’m sure it helped that my sister had been there some years and never raised a fuss before.
JASPER: That didn’t help me any when I tried to get my boss to help.
SUSIE: Some people start harassing you, if they know your weakness. One of the guys here, John, once found his desk soaked with fragrances when he came back from lunch. That was after he had complained about some co-worker using too much strong perfume. You have to be careful.
JASPER: What did he do?
SUSIE: He tried to wash it off, but couldn’t. Meanwhile, people sat and laughed at him. He got so sick someone had to drive him home.
JASPER: Did the boss help?
SUSIE: There had been other attacks before, just not as bad, and the boss never wanted to help. I think this was the last straw that forced John to give up that job. The bad guys won once again.
Lisa walks in.
LISA: Hi!
SUSIE: This is Lisa. She is our social director.
LISA: That’s me.
JASPER: Social director! What does that mean?
SUSIE: She arranges parties and such. Since the normies won’t stop using all their toxic products, we have to make our own social events.
LISA: It’s really low key, we just get together on holidays and share a meal. Next up will be the Fourth of July.
JASPER: Will there be any fireworks?
LISA: No, that’s too toxic. But I think Melinda and Greg are planning some skits.
JASPER: Where will it be?
LISA: Just under the ramada in the common area. Nothing fancy.
JASPER: Will there be food?
LISA: Oh yes, everybody brings a dish. And we’ll have buffalo burgers and chicken on the grill.
JASPER: Won’t that be too smokey?
LISA: Both the buffalo and the chicken are lean, so there isn’t much smoke. And we place the grill downwind.
JASPER: Why buffalo? Because it has less fat to burn?
LISA: No, we can get lean beef. The buffalo is because so many are allergic to beef.
JASPER: That sounds great. I haven’t been to any parties for years. My friends back home drifted away since I could only meet them outside.
SUSIE: That happens to most of us. People are just so attached to their smelly products. That’s more important than a friend.
LISA: So we band together in communities such as this one, so we don’t have to be so lonely.
SUSIE: Except most of us are women, so you guys do have an advantage!
Both women look significantly at Jasper, who says nothing.
Act 5: Refugee camp
The sign bearer carries a sign saying: “6 MONTHS LATER.”
The setting is the same as in Act 4, except there are now two lawn chairs. Jasper and Lisa are sitting and holding hands. The weather is pleasant, but cool. Both wear sweatshirts.
LISA: Has your stomach recovered now?
JASPER: Yes.
LISA: You really pigged out on that pumpkin pie. You should have been more careful, it was bought in a store, so it was full of preservatives.
JASPER: I guess I couldn’t help myself. Pumpkin pie is my absolute favorite, it’s what I look forward to every Thanksgiving.
LISA: I understand. I think we all loosened up on our restrictions so we could pretend for a few hours that the world was normal.
LISA: Yeah, that’s it. A few hours of escape. Even though we couldn’t go be with our families.
LISA: Yours are in Philadelphia?
JASPER: Yes, so is my sister and her family.
LISA: My sister drove up to our parents in Vermont. I haven’t seen any of them for years now.
Diana walks past them, carrying an empty laundry basket. She stops when Lisa calls out.
LISA: Diana! Did you go away for Thanksgiving?
DIANA: Yes, I went to my folks in Los Angeles.
LISA: That’s far! Did you drive non-stop?
DIANA: No, I stopped for the night at a truckstop outside Kingman.
LISA: Truckstops are very toxic, with all those diesel trucks.
DIANA: I parked down a nearby dirt road and slept in the car. I used their restrooms before sunrise, when there weren’t so many people. It’s mostly guys there anyway. I was even able to take a shower without getting toxed out.
LISA: How did it go at your folk’s place? Could you be inside?
DIANA: I could go inside for shorter times, to use the bathroom and such. More in the afternoon when they opened up all the windows. I basically stayed on the back porch all the time. I slept out there at night.
LISA: Did you eat together outside too?
DIANA: Yes, that worked well, the weather was very nice. It’s L.A. you know.
LISA: Were they perfumey?
DIANA: Not too bad. I sent all of them a box of safe shampoo, soap, and detergent three weeks before, asking them to start using it all right away so the chemicals could get out of their clothes and bodies in time. Mom was really good calling all of them saying they really needed to do this so I could be there this year. Fortunately, none of them use dryer sheets, that stuff never washes out.
DIANA: My brother Jack’s wife, Isabella, was the only real problem. She said “but it’s only a body spray.” And Jack mumbled that they can’t all completely change their lives because I don’t “like” perfume. He’s never really accepted my illness.
DIANA: She did wash it off, and she had already pulled her hair back in a pony tail so she didn’t need the hair spray. But you know how stuff hangs in the clothes and comes out your pores, just as it does on people who eat a lot of raw garlic. She did try.
DIANA: Mom, ever the peacemaker, made sure I was seated at the opposite end of the table from Isabella. It worked okay as long as we sat outside.
LISA: Did you ask the big question?
DIANA: Yes, I finally got the courage.
LISA: And…?
DIANA: No go. I didn’t ask my parents, they are close to retirement, but I asked my two brothers. They both have lots of money, Jack is in real estate and John is in finance.
DIANA: They drive expensive cars and Isabella likes to show off her clothes and jewelry. Their kids only wear designer shoes.
DIANA: Jack even said “what can’t stand on its own must fall.” He is such a Darwinist.
LISA: How did you present it?
DIANA: I knew it would be tough, so I didn’t just ask for the money. Instead, I asked them to pay for the house and then rent it out to me. That way they could think of it as an investment.
DIANA: They both said I should just go to a bank and get a loan. I tried to explain that banks don’t like the extra cost of building a house of non-toxic materials, and they’ll demand I use an expensive general contractor who will drive up the cost too.
LISA: And who will fight you all the way because he’s never used safe materials before.
DIANA: Right. Mom said she’d try to talk to each of them, so there is still some hope. She really gets it. She’s the only one who does. Dad is just quiet.
DIANA: This is my fourth winter in the camp. Every winter I hope will be my last.
JASPER: This will be my first winter here. So far, so good.
LISA: It’s not real winter yet. It’s not even December.
JASPER: At least I have some help staying warm at night.
Lisa looks at him fondly.
LISA: Yes, you do!
DIANA: Well, I need to get going. I was on my way to the laundry room. My time slot has run out, and I saw someone had signed up for the next hour.
Diana leaves.
LISA: Miriam went to her family in New York.
JASPER: Did she fly?
LISA: Yes. The whole trip was a disaster. She came back last night, she was so sick. Two of the flight attendants almost had to carry her off the plane. Greg picked her up at the Phoenix airport, she laid in the back of the car on the drive to here.
JASPER: Greg is such a trouper. It really helps to have some healthy people here.
LISA: Yeah. We only got ourselves. Melinda is so lucky he didn’t run away once she got sick, like most spouses do. And he is willing to help the rest of us too.
JASPER: I’m surprised Miriam went.
LISA: She just misses her family and her parents are too old to travel. Who knows how long they’ll be around.
LISA: Last year John drove all the way to Chicago for Thanksgiving. His brother assured him they would do whatever was needed to keep him comfortable.
JASPER: How did it go?
LISA: Very bad. They had painted the living room the month before.
JASPER: (indignant) Really?!
LISA: Yep. He couldn’t smell the paint, and didn’t want to offend anyone, so he got terribly sick. His brother said he figured if he didn’t tell about the paint, there wouldn’t be a problem. Wrong!
JASPER: What did John do?
LISA: He had brought his tent, but it snowed a lot. They moved the cars so he could camp in the garage, with the door open. He couldn’t be in the house, so he drove back the next morning.
JASPER: Did he get any pie?
LISA: Yes, he did manage the dinner. The high blood sugar carried him through for a few hours.
JASPER: He only stayed one night then?
LISA: I think it was two. And then the days it took him to drive all the way up and back again, while sleeping in a tent along the way.
JASPER: Yeah, travel is not so fun when you can’t stay in a motel.
LISA: I miss flying. I used to be a flight attendant and go all over the country. The last year I was stationed in Los Angeles and did the Pacific routes: Japan, Korea, Hong Kong, Singapore. I loved it.
JASPER: Then what happened?
LISA: We got new uniforms. They were coated with a lot of toxic chemicals so they were wrinkle-free, food spills didn’t stain them, and they would not burn if we had to fight a fire onboard. Who knows what else.
LISA: The first day I wore it, I got rashes all over. You could see where it touched my skin. I washed it many times, which helped, but not enough. I didn’t get rashes on my days off, when I didn’t wear the uniform. Then I got eczema. The doctor gave me some creams and was not interested in what caused it.
JASPER: Not surprised. What happened next?
LISA: I just kept going, being such a good little trouper for the company, despite things getting worse and worse. When I had too many sick days, the company just laid me off. It kept snowballing even after I stopped working. I stopped too late.
JASPER: That’s what happened to me. I got out too late too. Were you the only one who got sick from the uniforms?
LISA: There were about a hundred, enough so our union complained to the company. The company hired some firm that tested the uniforms and said they were fine, none of the chemicals were above the guidelines, so we were just imagining things.
LISA: Of course, those guidelines are set by the chemical industry. And they assume you are only exposed to one chemical at a time. The uniforms were coated with dozens of chemicals.
JASPER: What happened to the other attendants?
LISA: The company eventually allowed us to buy uniforms from another brand, with a lot less chemicals in them. That helped most people. It worked great for my buddy Julia. But it was too late for me and at least one guy I knew. He got asthma attacks just being near someone wearing the toxic uniforms. If they had just stopped the denials sooner, I might still be flying on Tokyo. I loved their sushi.
JASPER: At least they couldn’t say it was just one person, when the union had all those complaints.
LISA: Yeah, companies usually say you’re the only one, even if they’ve had a hundred people get sick. Deny, deny, deny.
LISA: But they kept saying it was just a few people who were “overly sensitive,” as if it was our own fault.
JASPER: Did anyone sue them?
LISA: We did. The lawyer recommended we take the offer of a settlement, so I did. They just paid the wages I lost from being too sick to fly, before they laid me off. Not much. Nothing for ruining the rest of my life. Nothing for paying all the doctors I went to.
JASPER: Did anyone take them to court?
LISA: A few did. The company paid some psychiatrists to say it was all mass hysteria. The judge bought that explanation, and that was the end of it. You need a lot of money to win against such a big company.
LISA: Oh, there’s Ann coming from the laundry shack. Hi Ann!
Ann enters.
ANN: Hi Lisa, hi Jasper.
LISA: Sorry we held up Diana. Was she late picking her clothes out of the washer?
ANN: Just a few minutes. No problem. I got it booked for three time slots so I have plenty of time. I’m breaking in a new pair of jeans. I’ve soaked them in a bucket for two weeks, now I hope three washings may be enough to make them tolerable.
JASPER: Yeah, jeans are tough to break in. They add so many chemicals, even fragrances.
ANN: Yeah, it’s a toxic world we live in.
LISA: Are you trying any new treatments?
ANN: I’m really excited about this new supplement. It’s ginger that is fermented so it’s really potent. And it’s not just any ginger, it comes from Tibet, which is the best kind.
LISA: What does it do?
ANN: It supports the nervous system to dampen down the pain.
LISA: Does it work?
ANN: I’m very hopeful this will really help.
LISA: Can you tell any difference now?
ANN: Not yet, but it is the best!
LISA: Well, hope it works. Tell me if it does.
ANN: I will. I gotta go, I got some brown quinoa and spirulina cooking on the stove. I don’t want to overcook it and destroy the nutrients.
JASPER and LISA: See ya.
Ann leaves
JASPER: How many of these supplements has she tried now?
LISA: It must be well over a hundred.
JASPER: Is she always so enthusiastic about them?
LISA: Yes. She is convinced there is a cure out there just waiting to be found. I think that’s her way to cope with the illness instead of accepting her life is screwed up forever.
JASPER: It is nice to have hope.
LISA: Yes it is. Some people do fall into depression. Some even kill themselves.
JASPER: Which the psychiatrists turn upside down and say it is “proof” it’s all a mental thing.
JASPER: Maybe there is a cure. Since there is no funding for research, we have to do our own. Maybe one day someone gets lucky.
LISA: That’s what people said about AIDS in the 1980s. That was another disease nobody wanted to research.
JASPER: Didn’t they succeed?
LISA: Yes, but only after 1200 people showed up at the National Institutes of Health to demand they do something.
JASPER: They do a lot of cancer research.
LISA: Have you noticed it is only about treating cancer, not about preventing cancer?
JASPER: Uh, why is that?
LISA: Now you are silly. Preventing cancer is just as scary to the chemical industry as it is for them to accept that we exist. That is why there is so little research.
JASPER: Whereas sick people are good business for the doctors! Especially desperate people, who are willing to pay whatever they charge.
LISA: Did you hear some lady in Boston bequeathed $5 million to a local university for research? Her name was Marilyn Hoffman.
JASPER: Really? What did they find then?
LISA: Nothing. They just took the money, did a few seminars and poof, the rest disappeared.
JASPER: Really? How could they get away with that?
LISA: We can’t get a lot of people to march and demand they do something. They just pretend we don’t exist.
LISA: The people who took the money for our research, and the psychiatrists, should get this disease themselves. Then they can try all their dumb ideas on themselves and realize how stupid they are.
JASPER: That would be a cruel and unusual punishment. How about they just got it for a limited time. Six months should be enough to convince even the most arrogant doctor.
LISA: Alright Mr. Nice Guy. How about you show me some of that niceness instead?
They both stand up and hug.
Act 6: Wedding
The sign bearer carries a sign that says: “NINE MONTHS LATER.”
The setting is the same as in Act 5. Jasper and Lisa are getting married by a judge. All the camp mates are in attendance.
People wear their normal clothes. The bride wears some sort of white outfit, but not a dress. There is a tray with glasses on a table.
JASPER: I, Jasper, take you, Lisa, to be my wife and partner in this adventure called life. I know it will not always be easy, we will have bad days, but we will also have days with love and laughter. I can’t imagine anyone else I’d rather share this adventure with. You are my best friend, the love of my life, and I promise to always love you no matter what the future brings.
LISA: I, Lisa, take you, Jasper, as my husband and partner. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and cherish you always, no matter what our future together brings.
JUDGE: By the authority vested in me by the state of Arizona, I now declare you husband and wife.
Lisa and Jasper kiss and embrace, while people clap their hands and cheer.
Susie picks up the tray with glasses on it.
SUSIE: (loud) I got organic sparkling apple juice for everyone!
Susie carries the tray around, everyone picks up a glass.
SUSIE: A toast for a happy married life!
People raise their glasses and cheer at Jasper and Lisa.
Music
Music from Kim Palmer’s album Songs From a Porcelain Trailer, can be played, if desired.
Copyright
Copyright (c) Steen Hviid, 2025. Permission to use granted to schools, theaters, theater groups, activists, teachers, etc.
More
Real stories about living with MCS at www.eiwellspring.org/facesandstories.html.
2025